This chapter was written in 2006. As of this posting (November 16, 2010), Jeanette is very close to the end of her battle. Those of us who have watched her over the past few years look back on what she says in this chapter and the next with a special poignancy.
Chapter Ten
RACE AGAINST THE ODDS
It started last summer (c. 2005). First I fell at my sister Barb and Lew’s house in Weedsport. Most of us were camping in their backyard for the fourth of July weekend. I tripped over a tent stake. I didn’t have my sunglasses or my hat on to keep the sun out. So when I tripped, I fell flat on the ground.
I didn’t hurt until a few days later. Then I had horrendous pain in my back. I could hardly move. I went to my medical doctor’s office. I was sent for an x-ray then was given a prescription. Within a week I was still in pain. I couldn’t do much of anything so I called my doctor’s office and was set up for physical therapy.
In the meantime, in August, I had an appointment with Dr. Musa, my cancer doctor. First thing he asked me was if I had a problem. I said, “Yes - with my back.” He checked me everywhere and did his routine examination. I was to go his office.
When my brother Jerry and I were in his office, the doctor told me my cancer count went up. He was sending me for a CAT scan here in Cortland. He had one of his nurses set up an appointment for me. I was to see him the following week.
The following Monday after I got home from physical therapy, I had a message on my answering machine. I was to call them; which I did. Dr. Musa wanted me to go for another blood test. He wanted to make sure the first one wasn’t a fluke. Dad took me over to the hospital to have my blood test done before we went to the nursing home.
I saw him two days later but no results of blood work yet. I was to call back on Friday. When I did call, Dr. Musa talked to me, telling me my cancer count went up again and that we needed to talk.
All this time I’ve been thinking. One thing for sure! Dr. Musa won’t let the problem slide by him. He wants to be sure, then he doesn’t waste any time. That’s what I like about him as a doctor.
When I went to see him the following week, that visit was just for consultation - I thought. Then he asked afterwards, what I wanted to do. I said-with no hesitation, I’ll go with chemo.
Jerry asked him what he recommended. Dr. Musa said [ if I got it right] sometimes cancer cells do not show up on the cat scan. They grow. Then he would have to get in there and dig. I said – “Let’s go then for the chemo.” [ I had decided that already if needed]. I knew there would be side effects for me to deal with after the chemo. That’s minor compared to having cancer going through me.
He picked up my folder and handed it to me. He said, “Take this down to Ann and she’ll get you started.” He first looked at my arms, then said, “We can do it.
I was thinking - chemo, today? All right! The sooner the better! Jerry and Bonnie went with me on the elevator to the treatment room down stairs. Ann told me to take a seat and she would get me started. The treatment was to be three-and-a-half hours. That would be three bags – one at a time going through the IV in me with the chemo drug.
Jerry and Bonnie waited patiently until I was done. I think it was 12:00 or 12:30 when I got done.
I wasn’t having a very good time with my bowels. Then, of course, I forgot to take my Sennecott and I happened to think of it Saturday. I was thinking - no wonder! I better call Ann. I called her Monday morning.
She told me to take Phillips caplets and that I needed to do something that day. I finally had results, surprisingly. Then I went to the bathroom often. Each time I went, I felt weaker. The last time I went, I hoped I would make it back to the sofa. I didn’t.
I remember hitting the wall before I went down. On the way down, I pulled the emergency cord. I wasn’t aware of it. I got immediate help.
I came too for a bit but passed out again. The whole staff was there. They called 911. They were scared as they weren’t getting any response at first. Then I came too. I told them Dad had gone for a hair cut but I wasn’t sure where ,but Clara knew. So the Superintendent went down to get her.
My blood pressure was low. I went to the Emergency Room. I started vomiting after I got there, had my vital signs done and got all hooked up. The nurse asked if I wanted their chaplain. I said I wanted my pastor. He wasn’t available yet but his wife, Judy came. She was there when I got back from my CAT scan.
While she, Dad and Clara were there, I got a report saying I had an infection of the pancreas. I was thinking - Oh no! Not that problem too.
Judy stayed until I was taken up to ICU. By the way! My blood pressure came back up. Dad and Clara went up with me. That was around 9:00 I was given something for pain and to sleep. I was very uncomfortable before then with stomach and back. I had stopped vomiting.
My doctor’s daughter [also] his P.A. came in to see me the next morning. I also was told it was the infection of the diverticulitis and not of the pancreas. I was very relieved to know that.
Pastor Comings came in to see me that afternoon. We talked for some time. Then he prayed, as he always does. Pastor and Judy have been to see me several different times.-when I was in the hospital. They, along with others, have been interested in updates to my cancer situation.
The next morning my doctor came in to say he was moving me to another floor. I was to start getting up and moving around. I did just that! I took a walk after each meal. I was there until Saturday morning.
I forgot to mention that Dad and Clara came every day, Eleanor Froh the next day after I was out of ICU, and Sally and her husband came in the afternoon. My brother Jerry and Bonnie, also my brother Bob had come.
Early Friday night when I came out of the bathroom, my friend Linda was there. Of course my doctor came in every morning and as usual, I had questions for him. I’m thankful for all the company I had. Not everyone is that fortunate. In fact, there are many that are alone.
When I was home, I started having a bleeding problem Sunday night and the next morning. I called Ann, then went to my doctor’s P. A., then saw him as Katie Hayes then to Dr. Hayes as she recommended.
That’s what I like about my doctor and his daughter. When there’s a big problem they’re concerned about in regard to my cancer, they do call Dr. Musa’s office. I didn’t have any more problems with the bleeding.
A few weeks later I went back for my second chemo which was in October. This was on Wednesday. I was fine until Saturday morning. The chemo threw me like a loop. I felt weak and real fatigued. I was aching all over. I didn’t go anywhere but to my bed. I took it easy that day and even went to bed like 6:30 that night. I was tired. I took it easy the next day also. The next chemo went fine.
I found out in November that my cancer count had gone up again. Dr. Musa decided to put me on a new chemo drug for treatment.
This one wasn’t stronger, just worked differently and it did too. I started it in December. I told Dr. Musa I had everything ready for Christmas. Now I was ready to start the new treatment. Come to think of it, I would’ve started sooner if needed to. I believe he was glad to hear that.
In January this year, my count went to forty-five. In the meantime, I started a rash. I knew I couldn’t use any heat within the first five days after chemo. I didn’t realize once chemo is in you, it’s there until you go off it. Well, after five days, I used an electric mattress pad one night and I blossomed out good the next morning on my stomach and back. Then I broke out in other areas than I had ice bags for.
Along with that, I had the thrush/mouth sore. That went away, thankfully. I had to eat soft foods when I had that because it had been hard to swallow. With the rash, I felt like I was all skinned up.
I went back in February for next visit with Dr. Musa and another chemo. He had my chemo drug through the IV decreased and my chemo pills doubled. He had Ann set up an appointment for me for another CAT scan. That was to check on abdominal and pelvis area. Again the cancer cells didn’t show up on the CAT scan.
In spite of itching and soreness that kept me awake some nights, I won’t quit the chemo. The cool/lukewarm showers along with the Benadryl helped. It could’ve been lot worse.
In early March, I got a call from my brother Bob, Dr. Musa’s office called him as he was the one taking me up there. Dr. Musa was trying to find a drug for my rash. He needed two days to do it. So he wanted to see me Friday instead of Wednesday. Good news was that my cancer count was down.
When I went to see Dr. Musa, he said he was sending me to Dr. Morris the dermatologist for my rash. He had Ann set up an appointment for me. I was to see the one in Homer.
I went to see that doctor in Homer. He along with a nurse checked everywhere. I had a rash. He gave me a prescription and directions for how to use it. I was to see him in May.
In the meantime I had this bump on my head. Dr. Musa was watching that as well. In April, my sister Dottie came down from Michigan to go with me for my treatment. Dr. Musa told me my count went up to 44.
He was sending me back to this doctor in Homer to take this thing off my head and send it away for biopsy.
When I was in his office, I asked him what my prognosis was and how much of a chance I have to fight this cancer. He couldn’t answer either question. When I stop to think of it, he couldn’t, not with the way my cancer count was going-like a yo-yo. I appreciate his honesty.
I went back to the doctor on May first. He told me the rash was gone. I didn’t need to use the ointment. I’m to keep an eye out after each chemo. If any rash appears, then use the ointment.
Then he took this thing off my head. It felt like needles pricking. Then it stung rest of the day. I was given directions how to take care of it. It felt better the next day. That was on Monday. On Thursday, I got a phone call of the results. There is a growth but not cancerous. That was a big relief to me. I’m to see him in August. If I see another bump , I’m to call sooner. He may have to take more off.
I still don’t know where my cancer count is nor my cancer, prognosis, nor how much a chance I have to fight this cancer. That makes me more determined than ever before to fight this battle. It just may be a longer one this time.
I have many supporters including Dr. Musa, Ann, the girls in his office [they are a great bunch ]; as well as family and friends. Dr. Musa says to go day by day. He’s right.
When I stop to think of it, I could be mad, but why? There was and are no guarantees. My cancer can kick up a storm again and again. I told myself four years ago when I had it- others have gone through it! So can I! And I did!
I learned that once you have cancer, you always will have it. You never will be out of the woods. I’ll just go back on chemo each time as I have now.
You have to have determination and the will to fight the battle of cancer. I’m not saying I’m enjoying this because I’m not. Even though when I get scared, I know I’m not alone. I can’t quit. I won’t quit. I believe it’s up to me to do my part and do everything I can to fight.
I hope to have Dr. Musa for my cancer doctor and his staff for a long time. But if and when he does retire, I believe he will put me up with another good cancer doctor. I also believe that when there’s help, there’s hope.
Music can be helpful in lifting spirits. I have CD’S and tapes that I listen to a lot. That gives peace and tranquility.
When I get overly concerned, sometimes teary eyed then I’m reminded that God is in control. He makes no mistakes. He knows every inch of each path that I take. I have a tape with words and music to that song.
I’d like to urge and wish to encourage anyone else who has cancer not to give up. There is help out there. Chemo has come a long ways. There are also medications to take before and after to keep you from being sick.
I forgot to mention Ann. She’s my chemo nurse. I remember the first day I met her. She introduced herself to me. She said, “You must be Jeanette.” I said, “Yes,” and asked how she knew. She remembered seeing me on the same floor where she was working at St. Joe’s Hospital. She also remembered all my drawings in the break/lounge area. I felt like drawing. I was given paper and crayons and I went to town drawing. She’s a good nurse. She’s very good getting the IV into my arm without hurting. She’s also good with answering questions. I hope she never leaves.
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