Book One - The Potter and the Clay: 11

Chapter 11

SURVIVING AND COPING

I remember four years ago when I first learned about the maintenance treatment. It was a new chemo treatment for survival. Dr. Musa wanted me to try it. I said I would go for that. That was in April 2002.

In August that year, I was going for another treatment. I asked my chemo nurse then when I would be starting the new treatment. She told me I already started on it in July. I wasn’t surprised. I already knew Dr. Musa didn’t waste any time. I was to have eight more of those treatments

I got to thinking more so lately, that if I aim to survive [and I do], I need to do some things to help myself. I need to take care of myself. Eating well can help tolerate side effects of chemo better and fight off infections more efficiently; to exercise to maintain proper weight and enough protein to build and repair muscles, vital organs  as well as skin and hair.

It’s important to have confidence in your therapy. I learned that if you go in not thinking you will be sick, you won’t be sick. It worked for me!  I also learned from reading that positive attitude helps me get wel l/ to maintain. That also worked for me before and now so far.

You have to have that along with, again, determination and will to fight or you’re done! I don’t intend to waste any of the efforts I have put in to fight this cancer.

A cousin of mine sent me a magazine four years ago  having to do with surviving and coping.  It brought things I need to deal with.  They were grief, shock, disbelief, and anger. Believe it or not! I had none of those. Diagnosed with cancer just confirmed what I thought.

I had said then and I say again – Others Have gone through it. I can, I did, and I can  this time too. Believe it or not! I just moved into a new life with more challenges and changes in thought process all this time.

In the last four years particularly, I’ve had many friends and new ones who were very encouraging and supportive. I’ve been challenged to take each day as day by day, focus on good things and not borrow trouble.

I read that selecting a treatment I’m confident in gives me positive attitude. However! I’m confident in Dr. Musa for treatments he puts me on. He knows much more than I do of what’s best for me. I trust his judgment. He has done well by me. I have no complaints for the way he’s taking care of my need in situation to cancer.

It was suggested in my chemo book to learn as much as I can about my cancer. It’s also suggested that I ask questions. I’ve done that for last four years. I believe all my doctors can vouch for that.

Since I’ve been on chemo since last fall, I’ve been on two different chemo treatments.  My ca-125  [cancer count] was going like  a yo-yo. Just recently, like two weeks ago, I was put on the third chemo treatment. That was on May 31^st. I also was told that I was to have another port put back into me because my count wasn’t coming back down.

I was asked if I wanted to wait until the next week. I said if I could, I’d like to start that day. Why wait? I did get the new chemo that day.

I also had my questions answered that day. My red and white blood [both] counts  were good. So were my kidneys, liver and pancreas which was a big relief to me. It also was reconfirmed to me again that once I was at stage three, I would always be at stage three. That’s just a stage below terminal stage four.

Being I will have a port put in and getting chemo three weeks in a row, I’ll be going for blood work three times on monthly basis. That’s to check for any blood clotting. The med in the chemo drug is also for nausea.  Therefore I don’t need Zofran for two days after chemo. This other one is working. I do have my nausea pills if needed.

I was told I would have tiredness. I did for sure! I didn’t do anything for four days. I felt pulled down. So I slept a lot. Lot of rest was recommended.

I received a call from St Joe’s Hospital. This lady was setting up an appointment with me for my port. I’m to be there by 7:30 if I can.

The next week I went for my second chemo. Ann had to do the ca-125 before doing my chemo. For some reason the lab didn’t do it.

The next day I got a call from Katie Hayes. She told me how much cortef I had to take. I have Adrenal Insufficiency. That was from results of a pituitary tumor removed back in ’81. Because of that, I have to double up or triple. That depends on whether I’m sick, teeth pulled, surgery done. So in this case, I had to take five before I go have the port done and five more cortef  when I got home.

I don’t know why I didn’t think to ask Ann or this lady from St Joe’s how to take it. Normally I have to eat or drink milk with my cortef to avoid stomach irritation. I was told I can eat being it will be four hours before I have port put in me. I’ll drink just enough milk to get my cortef down.

I arrived at St Joe’s at 7;15 and was taken upstairs at 7:30. After being all hooked up, ready to go, had a talk with this fellow from the Radiology, I was taken downstairs to a   holding room.

They put my port in. I was wide awake through the whole thing. The procedure was explained to me before I went down. They numbed my neck with sticks of a needle, then they were going to run a catheter through to a pocket where the port was going to be.

They talked with me through the whole thing. I think they did it, thinking I needed to keep my mind off it. Would you believe this? I asked a few questions [don’t remember them now ].  One doctor said- we welcome questions. They answered them.

I could feel pricks here and there as well as pressing and prodding. I told them I could handle what they had to do. Then they both spoke to me, telling me I did great. Well: I’ve been through it twice before so expected what would be going on. So why fuss!  

After that, I was told I needed an abcess which meant a syringe. I already had a needle put in when they did the port. Then I was taken back upstairs. And they gave me lunch.

In the meantime, my brother Jerry and Bonnie came right after I was taken downstairs. They waited in the waiting room until I came back up. I had two good nurses - one in each area. I was finally discharged at 12:45.

After I got home, when Jerry, Bonnie and Dad left, I stretched out on the sofa. I had taken my cortef when I got home then Tylenol at 2:30. So I dozed off.

They didn’t put on as many layers of bandaging as before. So I didn’t dare to stretch or do anything to mess things up.

I saw the port after I was done with chemo the next day. Ann showed me after she took the IV out. It’s on the same side as the first one was but over towards the shoulder. It’s beginning not to feel so sore now.

I found out that after I finished my twenty-one courses [I finished one already],  I will still have chemo until my count is down or until Dr. Musa is satisfied. That’s just like him to do that. He did before, four years ago or so. I had a strong instinct that he would do that again.

When I mention coping, I believe survival and coping goes hand in hand. With both, I believe it means taking care of yourself, positive thinking and faith in God. You have to eat well and exercising helps you to tolerate side effects, maintain proper weight, positive thinking/attitude.

For me knowing the Lord as my Savior, I can have faith in God. I have to say it didn’t come overnight. As each phase of life crossed my path, I have learned more so how to really leave uncertainties in Lord’s hands. That’s especially with uncertainties with reoccurrence of this cancer.

I believe he helped me be more optimistic than before, in spite of this cancer. He has also helped to maintain so far. There’s a reason for everything. I also have begun to realize that maybe God had a plan through this for me for some reason-perhaps to help some one else with cancer.

I really have no idea when my count will start coming down with the port in and the new chemo drug. When not expecting it to come down right away, it may be awhile; it’s easier for me to deal with that. I could drive myself nuts. Only the good Lord knows. So I’ll just continue on with chemo, doing cards, getting out when I’m up to it.

I plan on enjoying myself over the fourth of July weekend. Actually! I think I’ll have a week to spend with the rest of the family. I’ll have catching up to with some of the family, relaxing and helping when I can.