CHAPTER 11
UNDERSTANDING A PURPOSE
The weather forecast Sunday night looked bleak for yesterday morning, the fifteenth of January. I didn’t know for sure if I was going to be able to keep my appointment with Dr. Musa that day. I knew almost for sure I could make it to Syracuse with Bob. I wasn’t sure if Barb could make it to bring me back home.
I was awake at 3:00 yesterday morning. I finally got up at 4:30 to do some cards. Bob called me at 7:30 saying we were going. I made it up to Syracuse. Barb got up there before I was called in to be examined. We saw Dr. Musa after that in his office. He said he couldn’t find anything. If any back or stomach pain occurs again, I’m to call him right away. He’s sending me for another CAT scan to go to before I see him the seventh of February. We were out of there before 10:00.
In the meantime, before I left for Syracuse, Dad got a call from the nursing home. Mom wasn’t very good. It was decided that she would stay right there. She had gone into a coma. She was still hanging on when Barb and I got there. We went straight from Syracuse to the nursing home. I wanted to call my Pastor but was afraid Mom would go before I got back to her room so I stayed. I only left when needed to go to the bathroom, get a nurse or leave when they were taking care of her. For last two hours I just watched her.
She was filling up with fluid and coughing. I felt like one sitting with a real sick child. I felt helpless not knowing what to do. I couldn’t think of what to say to here then but that I love her. I’m glad Dottie got to see her before New Year’s weekend. I’m also glad I got to see her and could spend some time with her before she went. This is interesting! Before she went, she opened her eyes like at 3:00. She looked like she was trying to tell us something. After that she took a few deep breaths then she was gone.
I slept some that night but woke up thinking about her, wondering if she really left us. Realizing that she did, I knew I wouldn’t see her anymore, not now. Some day I will. I had said when she went to the nursing home, I was going to go every day to see her. I did when I didn’t have appointments, being sick or when it was slippery. Other than that, I went every day. I also made a point to see her when she was in the hospital. Now I know I won’t have any regrets.
I’m glad I was there for her at the nursing home and a few times when she was in the hospital. I’m thankful that I could do that, not just for myself but for my sisters and brothers. It was just more convenient for me than them. I was closer by, distance wise. Of course when I went, I went with Dad. The others made it over when they could. Our whole family will be home. The calling hours are at 11:00 then the funeral at noon. The Pastor who is doing the service suggested for our family give a short tribute to Mom [him not knowing her] before he gives the message.
My brain is working on few different things of what to say. She always has been there for all of us. I know she’s in a better place with no more pain or trouble. She’s with the Lord and reunited with loved ones who had gone on before her like my two Grandmothers, Aunt Alice and others.
CHAPTER 12
LEGACY
I just happened to think of something. I believe Mom has left us a legacy. It isn’t in money but it will stay with us forever. This legacy she gave us is love, support, guidance and direction. I remember many things that she taught us. She started in our early childhood years. I will miss our times together when she and I had our talks. Thank you, Mom. That is what I decided to give as a tribute to her. Guess what! I was the one who spoke on behalf of all of us kids. I did okay as long as I didn’t look up until I was done and went to my seat. Then I took a deep breath.
I have said before with cancer, others have gone through it. I can say it with the loss of Mom. I’m not the only one who will miss her. I have lot of people praying for me. I have the Lord too. He’s always with me. That gives me inner peace and strength to go on.
Here’s this thought again! God never moves without purpose or plan. I don’t know why Mom’s gone. He doesn’t expect us to understand why. He just wants us to trust and depend on him. I believe through that, somehow, He has a plan for some purpose for me, for all of us.
CHAPTER 13
INSPIRED TO WRITE
I remember the times when Mom and I had our talks. She was telling me that she hoped I would go on with my life even after she passes on. I’ve been writing for some time now and even got my first book published, not in a publishing house but through my sister and niece. We saved money that way and that was good enough for me. I also have a master copy to do books by. Now I’m working on book number two.
I went to the dollar store this afternoon. I found this neat small book on Great American Women with a CD to listen to. The stories were interesting enough so that I decided to do a biography on each one’s life. I knew I would have lull times when I wouldn’t have anything to write in my book. I wanted to write more.
For some reason I wanted to write. I don’t intend to be a professional writer. I’m doing it as it is very good therapy as I said before in my first book. I have found the biography of these six people very interesting. I have four more to do. Then I aim to do some on countries then stories from scratch.
So I’m doing what Mom would want me to do - putting my mind to good use, doing cards and getting out. I will still have memories of times of talking with her and all the things she’s done and made all these years. I believe we are a close knit family because of all that. We also enjoy our times spent together.
CHAPTER 14
DISAPPOINTMENT INTO ENCOURAGMENT
Somehow today seemed like everything went wrong. First of all, I had three sets of copies made from the original one I had. When I got started to get them ready to be put in each book, I discovered I only had one real complete set. Thankfully I had two original sets of the copies to go by. Still things didn’t work out too good. I discovered there were a lot of missing pages. I don’t know for sure how it happened. Next time I go to Staples, I’ll have to put a cardboard in between each set. At least I found a solution to the problem.
After lunch like around noon at 1 pm, I got my bank statement in the mail. It took me an hour for it to meet with my checkbook. I was frustrated but stuck with it. I finally made it to work out. I also found an easier and quicker way to do it the next time.
Tonight, I was playing Phase Ten with Dad and Clara. There were times it bothered me not to be able to get my play. I forgot to remind myself that it was just a game. I used to think at the same time [what I was going to do when I came home afterwards] while I was playing Phase Ten. I should’ve concentrated on the Phase Ten completely tonight. I’ll have to from now on because that’s what works for me. I started doing that then from then on and the game went better after I did that.
I’m just going to have to try again tomorrow to have a better day and not let things bug me so much. This, considering all things, turned out to be a better day than I
expected. That’s because I learned few things in each area.
No comments:
Post a Comment