CHAPTER 4
THOUGHTS TO CONSIDER
I had chemo the 17th of December - a week ago Wednesday. I saw Dr. Musa first for an office visit. More of what he had told me before. It made me think. With my type of chemo, I can do what I want to and need to do most of the time. With the nausea bag used before the treatment, that does keep me from being sick. So I can eat to maintain my strength and weight. I don’t eat big amounts but just what’s comfortable for me.
Sure I get tired at times so then I stop, rest and go back to whatever I was doing. I can accomplish what I want done. I can and do get out twice a week. When we do go out, we go out early enough to beat a big crowd. We do lunch and then go to a store. I avoid Wal-Mart unless there’s something there I need or can’t get elsewhere. There also have been times when we just come home after we eat. I’m glad I can do what I set out to do, because I have a lot to do to get ready for Christmas
I was trying to finish up my first story I wrote from scratch. I discovered getting six books done and looking thru each one, that the first one and five others had smaller print. I knew then that I had to do them over again and at size 12. I was doing good for awhile. Then, while I was trying to correct a mistake, I lost the whole page. I wasn’t too happy.
Do you know what? I heard that a computer/lap-top can make you grow? I believe that’s right. Each time you work with it and the frustrations, you gradually learn from it in many ways. One way is to deal with it in a calm sure way. I hadn’t completely learned that. I’m gaining but still have a long ways to go.
Dr. Musa had taken me off this one pill as I didn’t have anything for that to work with. At the same time, though, I ‘m dealing with hot flashes. I have found few ways to cool off to be comfortable and for me to be able to handle the hot flashes for the most part. I have learned to deal with them as I have other things.
I heard a lady tell someone else on the phone that I was mentally retarded. I got to thinking lately of all I had learned to do and still learning. How could I be if I did all these things? I think I have proved her wrong as well as that one teacher I had. I wonder if this lady would’ve stuck with the chemo as I have or would she give up. I’m not taking the credit. The Lord gave me all those abilities and I thank Him for that.
I’m still learning all I can of my cancer by reading and asking questions. I also want to be of encouragement to others with cancer. There are always challenges to face. They can break you or make you, depending on how you face them. It’s not easy, never will be easy, but if we have a strong, determined spirit to hang in there, then it’s easier.
About these few stories? I did get them done in time thankfully. My copier was busy real busy for awhile.
CHAPTER 5
VERY INTERESTING
Back in September I had my stent changed again. Before then, I was told my cancer count went down to 94.5. I was thinking - Good! The count is going in the right direction - or so I thought. So much for that thought. It’s back with the yo-yo bit. Because last month, my count went back up to 134/136, some where’s in that area.
I went for bone density a week ago this past Monday, the 21st of October. Then I went to see Dr El Hassan that afternoon. I was told that my kidney is the same. Thankfully it didn’t get worse. I just got a letter from Dr. Hayes. I have a osteopenia which is before osteoporosis - thinning of the bones.
So I have another challenge with keeping myself in shape - more walking and exercise. I’m thinking! Asking myself - how am I going to do that and get done all I want to before Christmas. I’ll just have to work it out to do both. I haven’t found out yet if that means I’ll shrink more/just shrink. I sure hope not! If I do, I’ll just have to deal with that with an optimistic view just as I have with other things that had come my way. He also suggested that I get a book called “Strong Woman Stay Young.” A neighbor lady loaned hers. I made some copies from it and gave it back to her. I don’t want to be responsible for some one else’s book or whatever else. Not only that but I’ll have more time to digest what I have read and about to read. I have read some already. It is very interesting.
So with my kidney - getting the stent changed often, fighting this cancer, keeping myself in shape; I do have challenges to work with. I need to keep myself in shape all the way around. I can and will do this.
I just turned sixty-six today the 2nd of November. I wonder what this year will look like for me. I have adjusted to the fact that Mom is gone. I still miss her but I have good memories of my time with her.
Now more so - I need to be here for Dad - support-wise - as a daughter. I’m the closest one – distance wise, right in the same apartment building. My brothers and sisters check in with him frequently. I need to keep myself in as good shape as possible. I try but sometimes things pop up around the corner unexpectedly, but thankfully not very often.
He has few health problems to deal with too So, why add to it if I can help to avoid it.
We also have a neighbor who’s there who is a friend as well. She’s been with us through different things like, first, with me going thru with cancer, then with Mom. She looks out for Dad. So with continual determination, will power, positive thinking, I’ll do what I need to do to keep myself going. I hope I’m doing a good job doing that.
CHAPTER 6
WHY ?
Why do I repeat certain things? Because they fit in those categories where they’re mentioned.. One I often mention is that the Lord never changes. Not only that, He knows what will happen when. He also has a reason / purpose for everything.
I was to go to Norwich tomorrow the 13th of November to spend a week with my brother Jerry and Bonnie his wife. She called me tonight at 8:00 when I came back from Dad’s playing Phase 10. Their ten-year-old grandson was sick. His parents had to work. So Bonnie will be taking care of him for the day. She didn’t want me to come because she didn’t want me to get what he had.
Sure! I’m sorry that I couldn’t go over, but I don’t want what he has. I may go over some other time. That is if everyone is okay. Jerry will take me to Syracuse. I had an appointment with Dr. Musa first that morning. When I was called in, His nurse told me it was a good thing I’m not going. I told her about my grand nephew. She said my immune system is down/lower so I need to avoid large crowds. I have already been avoiding that as much as possible.
At the same time! While I’m home after the chemo, I’ll work on some books and finish my cards up for Christmas and get them ready to be mailed out. That is if my chemo doesn’t drag me down. I hope it doesn’t. I want to get all done what I was working on so can move to other things.
This is why I can be optimistic more now than before. Lord has helped me in that area to reason things out and to look on the positive side, turning disappointments into good things.
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