Book Three - Back on the Escalator: 1-3

CHAPTER  ONE

            

HELP FROM FEAR

I had just finished my second book. I’ve been thinking on how to start my third book. I just finished reading my Sunday School Paper. That was talking about fears of everything; the way things are going in our country, security of jobs, homes, family members, freedom and even our health.

I remember one night when Barb and I had just gone to bed. We were in the same room. It wasn’t long before she sat up gasping for breath. I called Mom. She came upstairs and brought Barb downstairs. Dad and Dottie had just got home from church. Mom had called the doctor’s office. [Back then the doctor’s office had evening hours]. Mom and Dad had to take Barb to Cincinnatus to the doctor’s office. Barb had to sip water until she got there. Then when she got there, she was taken in the ambulance to the hospital here in Cortland. I was scared with her and for her.

Another time was when Barb and I took the swing down from the tree. She got into the swing and I pushed her around and around. Suddenly I slipped and fell. I landed in a position where a rusty nail went into my arm a little ways  from my wrist. Barb was calling Mom on her way into the house. By the time they both came out, I somehow got the nail out of my arm. Strange thing about it was that it wasn’t bleeding. Mom asked if I was feeling sick, which I wasn’t nor did I remember it hurting. She called the doctor’s office to find out what she should do. He said to bring me in. Mom and Dad took me after the chores. I got a tetanus shot. You can guess where. Then I WAS hurting afterwards     

As I got somewhat older, I had other fears like getting lost going over big bridges and thunderstorms. Eventually I got used to the storms except when they were sassy.

Five years and ten months ago when I was diagnosed with cancer, I had surgery mostly to get rid of the fluid as well as other things. A few weeks later I started my first chemo. My fears left me in regard to being sick, once I found out how the chemo worked. I had an infection a few days later and had it taken care of. ThenI continued on with my chemo. I’ve had questions and concerns which I shared with my doctors and chemo nurse. I discovered after having read up on things in regard to my cancer, I have learned quite a bit. The more I read and then had answers confirmed when asking questions pertaining to them, I began to understand more about my situation.

When I get overly concerned, I have only to remind myself that God is in control. He watches over sparrows. He watches over you and me more so. Therefore, in midst of turmoil, concerns and fears; He is with us. He knows all things. He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He loves us. He wants us to cast all our cares on Him and trust Him.

CHAPTER  TWO

      

ALL COMES TOGETHER

I use to hate doings things over again. Now I find myself doing that again and again. That comes especially with my stories. Since I had the computer, I found myself doing that more so. Each time I work on it, I try to improve on my margins. Tonight I finally was able to do it.

I was shown after church how to do the margins. I worked on a story after I came home from church. My margins were lot better. I felt better about it. Now, believe it or not, I’m going to do all my stories over again.

I was  talking to my sister Dottie tonight. From what I understand, Jerry and Bonnie will be home sooner than I expected. That’s great news! That also means I have work to do before they get home.

           

                                               

CHAPTER THREE

                   

ROOTS GROWN UP BY

My sisters, brothers and I grew up on a farm out in the country. Living in that environment had its advantages. We had a big apple tree that shed its blossoms at times and a small back yard along with the pastures to roam around in or slide down in the winter time. We also had a big apple tree between the house and the barn. So when there was a apple pie to be made, we would pick the apples.

We also had a blackberry patch down in the pasture where the cows didn’t go. When we went to pick blackberries, we would have to wear long sleeve shirts and long pants so not to be pricked by the thorns. On a very hot day it could be and was very uncomfortable. It was worth it though when we had a piece of that blackberry pie hot from the oven. We had a wood stove then that was used  for heat, cooking and baking at that time.

There was this one big room upstairs that had a stovepipe coming up from downstairs. So that’s where my sisters and I slept during the winter time. We would move our beds, dressers and belongings in there every winter. When we didn’t spend our time in that room or  helping Mom; we would go sledding, make forts or angel wings. Our community would have a skating party on some farmer’s pond. We would have it at night after the farmers had their chores done.

Our church didn’t just have services, but parties and picnics too. When that wasn’t going on, there would be showers, weddings and hayrides or just meet at the town hall to get together. Often someone would have an anniversary or was moving away. We also had fairs to go to.

At holiday times like Thanksgiving and Christmas, we would have family gatherings, sometimes on Dad’s side and Mom’s side but not all at once; likewise for family reunions. We also had some quiet evenings at home. We didn’t have expensive toys like some kids do today. We did get toys and often new clothes for Christmas. What we may not have had, we used our imaginations to work with. We often went different places together as a family. Actually! I think we had just as much fun as kids do today.

Book Three - Back on the Escalator: 4-6

Chapter  4

HERE WE GO  AGAIN

  

I’ve always said I’ve waited for so many things in my lifetime. I have to say I’m good in waiting for some things. Other things? I’m still working in those areas. I’ve been waiting for some time to see if my cancer count has come down. In the meantime, I’ve had bad backaches and stomach cramps. I had an appointment with Dr. Musa the 13^th of June. My cancer count didn’t go down. It went up to 115. Because of my problems with back and stomach, he decided to put me back on chemo. Ann was off that day.

I called Ann Monday morning to tell her I was to have my stent changed. I was to ask Dr. El-Saan if I could start my chemo the next week. I did get to ask him sooner than I expected. I could start my chemo the next week. I have to go for my blood work this coming Monday morning. Then Wednesday I go up to Syracuse to start my chemo the third time around. So back on the escalator I go  with challenges.

This chemo med will have the same thing as  chemo pills had to keep me from being sick. So I won’t need the chemo pills anymore. I’ll still have the nausea pills for if and when I need them. It’ll be interesting to see what my the blood counts and cancer counts will be now that I’ll be back on  chemo. My sister in-law is taking me for the chemo.

In the meantime, I learned how to enlarge the print on my book by watching my Pastor’s wife. After she left, I worked around with it until I was able to do it by myself. I can enlarge the print before I type. In fact! I decided to leave the  print at #12 to do all my work, pertaining to letters. Some people have a hard time reading the small print. It’s easier for me also. I have also found how to remove anything that’s blocking my work. That is an accomplishment.

CHAPTER  5

POSITIVE THOUGHTS

I had my chemo today. The red and white blood counts were good. Platelets also were up where they’re suppose to be. I found that my pain pill (Propoxyphene) will not work against the chemo.

Did I ever tell you that chemo affects the teeth? My dentist and chemo nurse both told me not to use the crest strips on my teeth. When I see Dr. Musa and Ann, I’ll have questions for both of them.

Tonight I was going to turn in early, but when I got to my apartment I called Deb then typed a letter. I almost forgot to mention that this chemo drug is called Gemzar. The prescription is called Gemcitabine. It belongs to a group of medicines called Antimetoblities. It is used to treat cancer of pancreas and lung. It may als  be used to treat other kinds of cancer as determined by my doctor. This chemo is what Dr. Musa chose for me to be on.

I was told it is very strong . If I have a full doze, it could knock my blood counts way down. So I’ll have a half dose for chemo for two weeks then have two weeks off. There’s no set pattern for how long I would be on chemo. It depends on how my cancer count does and I reckon for other things. As he told me once, “Just go day by day.”

CHAPTER  6

PLANS CHANGED

My plans to spend a week with Jerry and Bonnie didn’t pan out or come through. The Sunday before then the four of us went to Ponderosa for lunch. Then we went to Walmart. Clara’s daughter wanted to exchange something. I wasn’t up to shopping that day. Dad and I waited for them. From there we went to Kinney’s to pick up my two meds. I wasn’t feeling too great then so Dad dropped me at my apartment. I was in need for the pain pill as my back was aching furiously and my stomach was cramping badly. Then I felt weak and nauseated. I decided to pull the emergency cord and our night lady came up. I told her what the problem was and she called the ambulance.

They came and took me over to the hospital after asking me questions. I got there just in time because in a few minutes I started  vomiting. I did that off and on. In between those times, I was taken for a CAT scan and blood work. Sometime later a doctor came over to talk to me. He said he was sending me upstairs. Dad and I agreed. They took me up to 3-South.

I was supposed to go for an Ultra Sound the next morning. Dad went over and cancelled the appointment. Then Katie Hayes came in around 7:30 that morning and then came back with Dr. Hayes. After talking with me and asking me questions, he said he was going to call Dr. Musa. I was supposed to have chemo the next day –Tuesday - being Wednesday was the holiday. But I wasn’t getting that either.

In the meantime, I had my nurse call my pastor. He always wants to be brought up to date on everything. She got hold of him and in a short time, He and Judy came. Very Interesting ! He and I were just talking about St. Joe’s Hospital. Shortly after that, a nurse came and told me Dr. Hayes was going to send me to St. Joe’s.

Next I was given few  shots to avoid any blood clots. Then I was given an enema.  They had brought the commode in by my bed.                

Paperwork was done and the ambulance men were there ready to take me up to Syracuse. The ambulance man that was sitting beside me, talked with me most of the way up. I got there around three or so. The nurse who I was to have was there already in my room waiting for me. She was a very good nurse. She did all what she was to do.

Then a resident doctor who was working with Dr. Musa came in to ask me some questions. Then she checked me over. She came in the next morning to check me. Then she came back shortly with Dr. Musa. He told me that the chemo drug could constipate me. He ordered an enema and a prescription for pills.

Around noon or little later, Dad, Bonnie, Clara and her daughter came. Being I was to soon have an enema, I sent them to get a drink. They came back shortly, after I was done. I was released around five.

I went back for my chemo that Friday – two days later. My brother Jerry took me up for my treatment. My red blood count must’ve been good because I didn’t need the Procrit shot. Ann told me I should go for an Ultra-Sound. She faxed some things to Dr. El-Saan’s office. I was to have that the coming Monday Morning. I saw Dr.  Hayes that Friday Morning.

Book Three - Back on the Escalator: 7-9

CHAPTER  7

COMING TOGETHER

I’ve been for my Ultra-sound. Both kidneys were checked out. The right one, as I’ve been,  told is still good. The left kidney is still working only 8%. I’ve been told there is no blockage now. Maybe the stent is working in that regard. I’m still not sure about the tumor. I should find out when I see Dr. Musa. It could be that he’ll use the chemo to work on it. I’ll find out when I see him the first of August.

In the meantime, my printer died on me. It quit working. With help of a friend, we tried two different printers. They didn’t work. Now I need to get a disk for a printer on my copier so as to upgrade my computer. My computer specialists will program the whole thing for me after I get the disk. Thank Goodness!

I’m much relieved about that and for fact that I’ll save a few bucks. I have my Staples card, coupons and ink cartridges to pay towards that disk. It’ll be just a matter of patience on my part while waiting for it.

My specialists took my copier and tower home with him so he could work on it better.

He did and had it ready for me in two days. He and his wife delivered it to me the next day. Was I ever glad to get it back! I didn’t  really realize how much I depended on it. I even started doing letters on it. It looks whole lot better than my handwriting. I also use it for my stories [which I got it for in the first place]. It’s also easier to see my mistakes and correct them right then.

CHAPTER  8 

NEW MEANING

           

What do I mean by that? Well! I had actually felt guilty at times because of where I am – still alive. Does that mean I quit? Absolutely not! As I may have said before, I aim to give everything I have to fight this cancer. I also finally have an answer to that question.

Up to last fall, I had pills to take before and after chemo to keep me from being sick. The last chemo med and this one, now, has med in it to keep me from being sick afterwards as well as during the treatment. I also have nausea pills for if and when I need them. There were a few times when I needed them.

           

Because of all that, I’m able to eat like I should so I can keep my energy up and maintain my weight. I’ve been averaging between 134 pounds and 136 pounds, sometimes up little more. That’s okay because Dr. Musa doesn’t want me to weigh any lower than that while I’m on chemo.

           

I’m at stage three and always will be. My red blood count has been down just enough to have a Procrit shot to keep it from going lower. The Ultra Sound and CAT Scan showed that my bowels were backed up. Meds I take and the chemo drug I get to keep me from being sick caused the blockage. Now I take Doucaste Stool Softner, Metamucil and Sennecott daily to keep me regulated.

The last time I saw Dr. Musa, my cancer count went down from 134 to 116. It went in the right direction finally. I hope it continues to go down. One can only hope and pray.

Three weeks ago, I had a horrendous back ache the same day I had chemo. It started in the afternoon. I hadn’t had one like since July. I ended up seeing the doctor but not mine. He wasn’t in that day so I had another one. This doctor had me do few bending exercises so to  find out where the pain was and asked me questions. Then he gave me a new prescription and suggested physical therapy. Dad suggested I discuss that with Dr. Hayes. I don’t see him until October. In the meantime, I took the prescription which gave me relief in week’s time. It was also suggested that I take Ibuforum in between. But that bothered my stomach. I went back to Tylenol as I wasn’t taking the prescription anymore. My back had felt better. Tylenol helps my back and legs when they bother me.

If I am to have Physical therapy, Dr. Musa has okayed for that and for heat if they use it. Another reason why I’m still here, is because I have Dr. Musa for my cancer doctor. He’s done well by me all this time. As I said before, he’s also the chief oncologist and surgeon. I still believe the Lord sent me to him. He’s highly recommended. Patients come to him from all over. Not only that-even with all the patients he has, he’s still a people person-a caring person.

Last few days I’ve been fighting a  head cold. I’ve been trying to avoid large crowds. Besides! Who wants anyone around who’s sneezing, coughing or blowing their nose? I want to get rid of this cold before I have the next chemo next week. With all this in mind that I have learned, I’m more determined/ yes, stubborn to not give up.

CHAPTER  9

NEW THOUGHTS

I found out last week that my cancer count went down. Actually it went down twice. Two months ago it was 134. A month ago it was 116. Last week, the 12^th of September, it was 94.5. It’s going in the right direction. It has a long way to go to get to 35 or lower. Maybe this chemo drug is working. I sure hope so!

           

My weight was 135. The Doctor noticed that I was losing weight but was not concerned unless I lose more.. If I do, he will tell me. My red blood count was up enough to not need the Procrit shot.

           

I was told today that I didn’t need the Premarin because there’s nothing there that I need the Premarin for. He didn’t think I needed to have more blood drawn when I go for pre-testing. He had Ann give me a copy to take when I go for pre-testing. Ann told me I could take Phillips Gel Tabs as they wouldn’t make me feel crampy.

           

I went for pre-testing that Friday morning. I did need blood work after all. They needed the blood work that was only five days prior to my day of surgery. I had the stent done the 26^th of September, on Wednesday. My sister in-law, Bonnie came to take me home when they released me. It went well. I had no bleeding or other problems as I had before. I did feel done in towards evening time. I won’t know about the kidney bit until I see Dr. El-Saan the 22^nd of October 

Book Three - Back to the Escalator: 10-12

CHAPTER  10

WORK OF THE MASTER”S HAND

I mentioned in my first book about the POTTER AND THE CLAY. (In fact! If you remember, that was the title.) Why? Because Lord is the potter and we are the clay. He made us to be in his family. He had plans for us long before we were even thought of. Imagine that! We were not accidents. Don’t let anyone tell you different. So, He being the potter, He molds us and chips away at us to be of use for Him. I sometimes think He has to chip away at me constantly. On the other hand, He is the most patient, forgiving, loving friend we can ever have.

When I woke up real early this morning, my mind was already working. However! They were things which were mumble, jumble, that didn’t make sense. Then somehow my mind got switched to be clear. That’s when I think when I’m riding in the car. I observe the different trees, flowers, scenery in general, beautiful homes, landscaping. I like to see the snow when it first comes down. It’s so fresh and clean, it even glistens.

I’ve been to see the Atlantic Ocean. It’s so interesting to watch the tide coming in and going out. I’ve also seen both the sunsets and sunrises. They’re both beautiful. I also have seen the trees in full, blooming colors and a lake that’s shimmering blue. Only the Lord could make all that to happen.

                                        

CHAPTER  11

CHANGES

There always have been changes. I’d say you most likely have seen them everywhere. I remember when I was staying with this one lady while working at the Murray Center. I just paid room and board. I wasn’t far from downtown-maybe a block. There were five different drug stores. Kinney’s was one of the stores but under a different name then. They’re still here and delivering free of charge. There were three shoe stores - just one now. Also, Newberry’s [where you could find most anything ] and other stores, a few eating places, both Blue and Green stamp stores, banks, the Post Office and a supermarket.

Now there aren’t as many stores downtown. There’s just the Community Restaurant, a few deli places, two banks,  and bars throughout the city (of course). You’ll see a few different eating places, shopping plazas,  car places, supermarkets, gas stations, and beauty plazas where you can spend a fortune. I have a place or two where I can get my hair cut for not quite as much but only on Wednesdays. We also have a Joanne’s Fabric store where you can buy crafts, material and etc. There is also a library downtown.

One thing for sure is that you can always depend on the Lord. He’ll always be with you. Do you know of anyone else who can be with everyone at all times? He never changes. He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He will walk with us through everything that we go through.

 

                                                     

CHAPTER  12

WATCH FOR SCAMS

It seems like more scams are  coming at us from everywhere in every direction in every area. There are scams out there that we have to be more alert against more than before. I got stuck a couple of times. One person posed to be with the Verizon two times. Both times I had to call Verizon about the problem and to freeze my account or whatever you want to call it.

Now, when someone calls claiming they’re from Verizon, cable, National Grid, even insurance companies; I don’t trust them. I tell them to forget it then hang up on them. I won’t let myself get in a jam like again. One sign is when they don’t answer at first after you say “hello.”

Sometimes they call repeatedly. Then I get annoyed. I get phone calls in regard to the warranty on car and I don’t drive! Or the credit card, and I don’t do credit cards!

I’m just  telling that’s what I have learned - not to offer any information…period. Well, That’s all I have to say on that subject.