Book Two - Determination on Life's Road: 3-6

CHAPTER  3

CANCER MARKER TOOLS

I said before that there are books out there to learn from. There are also pamphlets. As I was leaving after having my chemo back in December, I found four interesting pamphlets which I picked up.

Do you know what a cancer marker is? I didn’t until I read this one pamphlet. It’s a substance [usually a protein] that the body produces in response to cancer. Some tumor markers appear in non cancerous conditions as well.

Tumor markers can be helpful instrument in determining in recurrent disease when used on regular basis and in combination with other tests. Recurrent disease is cancer that has returned two years after previous treatments.

Monitoring treatments may be useful to test some markers. In order to adequately access your condition, results of any tumor marker test will be carefully considered by your doctor along with your medical history, physical examination and additional lab tests. My tumor marker is CA-125 cancer count antigen. That gets checked. Mine has been checked once every month. It’s measured by blood work, and is considered a standard tumor marker for epithelial ovarian cancer. More than 90% of advanced ovarian cancer patients have ca-125 levels above 30 U/MI.  

What does rise in CA-125 mean? A serial rise or continuous rise over a period of time is much more reliable in monitoring your response to treatment. Regular testing will provide more consistent and more accurate pattern of your levels. For this reason, serial testing of CA-125 is very useful during therapy for recurrent ovarian cancer. Because some people may have a rising ca-125 at the beginning of therapy, your levels may be measured periodically during treatment to establish a reliable pattern.     

Last summer my CA-125 went up twice. That’s when Dr. Musa asked me what I wanted to do. I opted for chemo which I got started on that very day. What other conditions can produce high CA-125 levels? The serial CA-125 test is more reliable when combined with some or all of the following-Ultra Sound, Pelvic Examination, Imaging Studies [CT Scans, MRI, Pet] [Biopsy Specimen] sample tissue removed from the body.

I had at least six CAT scans, within the last 4 years. I had the last CAT scan the twelfth of December of this year (2006). I reckon I’ll be going for more from time to time. I also believe I’ll get pelvic examination.

CHAPTER  4

UNDERSTANDING BLOODWORK

There are five different kinds of blood counts. There are three which I am familiar with. They are the red blood counts, white blood counts and platelets. They all are called the CBC’S [Complete Blood Counts]. Do I need them all checked? Yes, I certainly do! CBC’S can help detect low/ high blood levels so they can be taken care of before they become a serious problem.

I have been given Procrit in shots for 5 months now. The Procrit rebuilds red blood cells and more red blood cells can mean more strength. Red blood cells normally live two months then wear out and must be replaced. Procrit is to keep ahead to hopefully avoid another blood transfusion. I’m also taking iron tablets to help along with the Procrit each time I go for chemo.

 

                                                                                            

 CHAPTER  5

 

STRENGTH DURING CHEMO    

Although chemo helps eliminate cancer cells, it can also eliminate healthy red blood cells and reduce red blood cell production.

I have learned I have to preserve my energy for few days before and after chemo.. So I only do what’s important then relax. Procrit is for treatment of chemo related anemia in patients with most types of cancer.                                   

CHAPTER  6

MOVING AHEAD

I had an appointment with Dr. El-Hassan the eighth but he wasn’t in that day so I saw his partner. He ran a scan on my left kidney. He had pictures afterwards of it and said my kidney isn’t working good. My stent has to be changed.

I went in for pre-testing this morning after I had the CAT scan the twelfth. I didn’t have to wait very long. I also had a good talk with the anesthesiologist.

I went in early the next morning. I was told to expect a little more bleeding this time. Guess what! I had very little and that wasn’t until Friday. I was given a prescription for antibiotic when I was released. We left at 12:30 and took care of that after lunch, at Kinney’s Then we came back to my apartment.

I had symptoms of a head cold that night with sneezing, wiping blowing. Taking Benadryl for few days took care of that.                                  

I’m going through a waiting game. I’m waiting to hear the results of the CAT scan. I aim to go with which every way the decision is made. A few times when I waited in Dr. Musa’s office, I noticed a few pictures from where I sat. One picture I saw was one with a Bible in his hand. I’m not a gambling person but I bet he goes to the Lord for help and direction with his work as a doctor. So with that, having him as my cancer doctor, oncologist and surgeon, I’m in very good hands with him and the Lord.             

That’s no matter what news I hear. I believe things will work out and be kept track of in regard to my health. So again, I hope to have convinced Dr. Musa that I know it will be all right. I know he’s doing his best. Whatever questions I had and concerns I had, they faded away. I’m at peace with it.     

Book Two - Determination On Life's Road: 7-8

A few minutes before posting these chapters (November 19, 2010), we received a call from Jeanette's sister, Dottie. Her physical condition, yesterday, declined significantly. As of this morning she sleeps most of the time with only occasional moments of semi-consciousness. Home going is soon. To us, that makes these two chapters especially poignant.

Chapter  7

THE CLIMAX

I feel like writing! I just have to share some things. I finally heard the results of the CAT scan. Have you ever heard or thought of a hidden piece of the puzzle come to light? I hadn’t either yet until the last two days. Dr. Musa had received the results of the CAT scan and had looked at them. They were good so he decided to take me off the chemo. He had Ann call me.

I feel I have passed the test. I accepted that piece of news with thankfulness that all was okay. I know he will keep track of my blood work and I will still have office visits just like he told me two years ago knowing that would be the same was reassurance to me.

I accepted that piece of news as a Christmas present. I also celebrated. I went out to eat with couple of friends at A&W. I also called some other friends and family. I got to thinking. I just may be in and out of remission for rest of my life. I can handle that. Once I have cancer, I’ll always have cancer. So with that, it’s to be expected to be on and off with chemo.

For now though, I think I won the battle. My red blood count will have time to build up where they should be and my platelets. I believe there will always be battles from time to time. That’s the way it is with cancer. I will never be out of the woods. As long as I know that, I can accept that. With each phase that comes my way, I’m reminded that God never moves without purpose or plan.                     

Chapter 8

LIFE IS HOPE

   

Our family had a gathering for Christmas today, the thirtieth. Most of us made it. There were some who couldn’t make it. I received a book called “WHERE JESUS WALKED”. I just looked through some pages and noticed some neat quotations which I thought were very interesting. Here are some of which I would like to share with you.

Where there’s life, there is hope; There’s infinite [without  limits] possibilities in little beginnings when God is in them, God’s dreams are so large they require His help to make them come true. God matches the dreams to the dreamer; Obstacles are opportunities in disguise. When you feel down, look up. It’s impossible to feel down when you’re looking up; Tough times never last but tough people do.

I believe all those quotations. I found them to be true in my life. That is, when I feel down I make myself focus on good things. My desires I had were mostly filled. God closed some doors where he didn’t want me and directed me to where He wanted me. I had a few obstacles along my pathway. Through each one I did have an opportunity. I believe the Lord knew I needed each time to build character, to bring me to where I am today. It didn’t happen over night. I was a slow learner.

I believe He gave me some good times to offset the rough times. Why do I believe that?  I can see as I look back, to how He worked things out through my life time so far. It took a long time to see and why.

I had mentioned also that I’ve been working on my story. My first book has been typed. So all I need to do is make copies for friends and put them in book form. Barb is doing some for my brothers and sisters. We discovered it’s too costly to have every book bound. My book will be an unusual book. I hope though that it will be one for my readers to enjoy and at the same time be encouraged.

Whatever you hope to do, don’t give up! For others dealing with any other kind of health problem, don’t give up either.

Book Two - Determination on Life's Road : 9-10

 From time to time, as we have opportunity, we will include examples of Jeanette's art. One of the things for which she especially will be remembered among our folks at Bible Baptist (as well as others) will be her simple, hand made cards. People of all ages received these at random moments and, with them, the assurance that Jeanette was praying for them.

CHAPTER  9

NEW DEVELOPMENT

I had gone to bed last Thursday night the fourth of January. I had slept for two hours then woke up at 11:30. I got up to go to the bathroom and had gone to bed. All of a sudden! I had a fierce back pain and stomach cramps. Nothing worked! I was very uncomfortable. I tried to read then write but couldn’t even do either. I kept hoping it would go away but it didn’t. I was awake all night. I waited until 5:30 then pulled my emergency cord beside my bed. Our night manager came up. She had already called the ambulance.

I got to the Emergency room in a short time. After asking some questions, the doctor on call ordered blood work and CAT scan. They hooked me up with an IV and put something in it for nausea. About 7:30 or so, results came back. Nothing showed up for why I was in pain. Another doctor who was on call gave me a prescription for pain and nausea. The pain pill helped some, but the pain didn’t go away. Today I had an appointment with Dr. Hayes as a follow up the eleventh. We talked, then he examined my back and stomach. This time it hurt when he pressed on it.

            He told me to have a seat while he went to call Dr. Musa. He couldn’t get to talk with Dr. Musa but he did get an appointment for this coming Monday morning to see him. I just hope the weather will be good enough to keep the appointment.

CHAPTER  10

                  MY FAVORITE THINGS                    

There were two favorite things that somehow got away from me. That was two dolls and books. Back in early 80’s, I saw this one doll in a workbasket magazine. I showed her to Mom. Needless to say, I got her for Christmas that same year. According to that magazine, she only cost five dollars. Because of her, my doll collection grew. Most of them are collectibles. Some others are ones I bought or others have given me.

I’d say probably in last 20 years, I started collecting a few different series of books. Most are mystery, detective and some heart-warming, thought provoking ones.

Then I took a liking to collective plates which are scenic, floral and antiqued. I heard that if you wait long enough, you will find what you’re looking that will fit price wise. I’ve been looking in this Hallmark store we have, few times, admiring these small tea sets. They were too costly for me. After awhile, I started finding them in this dollar store we have. Believe that? I decided to take advantage of that opportunity. Just think! Three sets for price of one or little more. That’s good enough for me. I also found a small fountain that fit my pocket book price wise.

I’ve discovered more so that there’s not always much good to watch on television. I don’t watch television that much like lot of people do. But when I do, I want to watch some good clean programs. They took off my four most favorite home-and-decorating shows. I have some videos of mystery and western. Lately I bought some DVD’S of the same kind as my videos. Once in awhile I may watch a home decorating or food show. When I’m writing, I listen to CD’S.                  

Book Two - Determination on Life's Road: 11-14

CHAPTER  11

                             

 UNDERSTANDING A PURPOSE

The weather forecast Sunday night looked bleak for yesterday morning, the fifteenth of January. I didn’t know for sure if I was going to be able to keep my appointment with Dr. Musa that day. I knew almost for sure I could make it to Syracuse with Bob. I wasn’t sure if Barb could make it to bring me back home.    

I was awake at 3:00 yesterday morning. I finally got up at 4:30 to do some cards. Bob called me at 7:30 saying we were going. I made it up to Syracuse. Barb got up there before I was called in to be examined. We saw Dr. Musa after that in his office. He said he couldn’t find anything. If any back or stomach pain occurs again, I’m to call him right away. He’s sending me for another CAT scan to go to before I see him the seventh of February. We were out of there before 10:00.

In the meantime, before I left for Syracuse, Dad got a call from the nursing home. Mom wasn’t very good. It was decided that she would stay right there. She had gone into a coma. She was still hanging on when Barb and I got there. We went straight from Syracuse to the nursing home. I wanted to call my Pastor but was afraid Mom would go before I got back to her room so I stayed.  I only left when needed to go to the bathroom, get a nurse or leave when they were taking care of her. For last two hours I just watched her.

She was filling up with fluid and coughing. I felt like one sitting with a real sick child. I felt helpless not knowing what to do. I couldn’t think of what to say to here then but that I love her. I’m glad Dottie got to see her before New Year’s weekend. I’m also glad I got to see her and could spend some time with her before she went. This is interesting! Before she went, she opened her eyes like at 3:00. She looked like she was trying to tell us something. After that she took a few deep breaths then she was gone.

I slept some that night but woke up thinking about her, wondering if she really left us. Realizing that she did, I knew I wouldn’t see her anymore, not now. Some day I will. I had said when she went to the nursing home, I was going to go every day to see her. I did when I didn’t have appointments, being sick or when it was slippery. Other than that, I went every day. I also made a point to see her when she was in the hospital. Now I know I won’t have any regrets.

I’m glad I was there for her at the nursing home and a few times when she was in the hospital. I’m thankful that I could do that, not just for myself but for my sisters and brothers. It was just more convenient for me than them. I was closer by, distance wise. Of course when I went, I went with Dad. The others made it over when they could. Our whole family will be home. The calling hours are at 11:00 then  the funeral at noon.  The Pastor who is doing the service suggested for our family give a short tribute to Mom [him not knowing her] before he gives the message.

My brain is working on few different things of what to say. She always has been there for all of us. I know she’s in a better place with no more pain or trouble. She’s with the Lord and reunited with loved ones who had gone on before her like my two Grandmothers, Aunt Alice and others.

CHAPTER   12

LEGACY      

I just happened to think of something. I believe Mom has left us a legacy. It isn’t in money but it will stay with us forever. This legacy she gave us is love, support, guidance and direction. I remember many things that she taught us. She started in our early childhood years. I will miss our times together when she and I had our talks. Thank you, Mom. That is what I decided to give as a tribute to her. Guess what! I was the one who spoke on behalf of all of us kids. I did okay as long as I didn’t look up until I was done and went to my seat. Then I took a deep breath.

I have said before with cancer, others have gone through it. I can say it with the loss of Mom. I’m not the only one who will miss her. I have lot of people praying for me. I have the Lord too. He’s always with me. That gives me inner peace and strength to go on.

Here’s this thought again! God never moves without purpose or plan. I don’t know why Mom’s gone. He doesn’t expect us to understand why. He just wants us to trust and depend on him. I believe through that, somehow, He has a plan for some purpose for me, for all of us.                                              

                                           

CHAPTER  13

                                         

INSPIRED TO WRITE

I remember the times when Mom and I had our talks. She was telling me that she hoped I would go on with my life even after she passes on. I’ve been writing for some time now and even got my first book published, not in a publishing house but through my sister and niece. We saved money that way and that was good enough for me. I also have a master copy to do books by. Now I’m working on book number two.

I went to the dollar store this afternoon. I found this neat small book on Great American Women with a CD to listen to. The stories were interesting enough so that I decided to do a biography on each one’s life. I knew I would have lull times when I wouldn’t have anything to write in my book. I wanted to write more.

For some reason I wanted to write. I don’t intend to be a professional writer. I’m doing it as it is very good therapy as I said before in my first book. I have found the biography of these six people very interesting. I have four more to do.  Then I aim to do some on countries then stories from scratch.

So I’m doing what Mom would want me to do - putting my mind to good use, doing cards and getting out. I will still have memories of times of talking with her and all the things she’s done and made all these years. I believe we are a close knit family because of all that. We also enjoy our times spent together.                 

                                                 

CHAPTER  14

                           

DISAPPOINTMENT INTO ENCOURAGMENT

Somehow today seemed like everything went wrong. First of all, I had three sets of copies made from the original one I had. When I got started to get them ready to be put  in each book, I discovered I only had one real complete set. Thankfully I had two original sets of the copies to go by. Still things didn’t work out too good. I discovered there were a lot of missing pages. I don’t know for sure how it happened. Next time I go to Staples, I’ll have to put a cardboard in between each set. At least I found a solution to the problem.

After lunch like around noon at 1 pm, I got my bank statement in the mail. It took me an hour for it to meet with my checkbook. I was frustrated but stuck with it. I finally made it to work out. I also found an easier and quicker way to do it the next time.

Tonight, I was playing Phase Ten with Dad and Clara. There were times it bothered me not to be able to get my play. I forgot to remind myself that it was just a game. I used to think at the same time [what I was going to do when I came home afterwards] while I was playing Phase Ten. I should’ve concentrated on the Phase Ten completely tonight. I’ll have to from now on because that’s what works for me. I started doing that then from then on and the game went better after I did that.   

I’m just going to have to try again tomorrow to have a better day and not let things bug me so much. This, considering all things, turned out to be a better day than I

expected. That’s because I learned few things in each area.

Book Two - Determination on Life's Road: 15-18

CHAPTER  15

WRITERS FOR SAY

I said before that writing is a good therapy. It is also a good outlet. Why do I say that? Because, I’ve asked for a copy of my first book. From there, I began to write. So I started book two. I had mentioned also that I thought to write in other areas as well.  I just don’t know where to start from.

I decided to write a story on lives of each  of the ten Great American Women. When doing that, I believe I will learn how they got started and what really brought them as far as they have come. That’s speaking of Harriet Tubman, Louisa May Alcott and the other women --what they dealt with and how they handled situations. There also may be others I will want to write about as well as continuing my story. There will be lot of writing but I believe I will learn at the same time.                   

I have thought of doing a story from scratch. I’m just not sure how to start with that or about what to write. I’ll find out if that’s an area for me to get into or not sometime. So with that in mind, I have some goals to work for.  That means I need to keep myself in good shape - -physically and spiritually. I have a lot I hope to accomplish. It’s a good way to enrich my mind for discussing  when talking to others. I also will have my cards to do. Yes! I aim to move on with my life.

Pastor Comings mentioned last night to get acquainted with another person to let them know or be aware that I am as there as a friend. I’m there to find same interests in line of conversation.  I think, I am or trying to do that with more than one person. Our times are not always that convenient all the time. I do try to keep in touch with a phone call or card.

By the way ! I just heard Ice Skater’s Waltz on my CD. It’s my most favorite classical music. I play it a lot along with my other favorite classical and piano musicals.

So when spring comes or when it gets to be good enough to walk outside, I’ll go to the library and check books I have in mind-few at a time. Again I feel like I will be getting more education but free of charge, no deadlines, no tests to pass.   

I have in mind to get myself a small copier of my own. I won’t do it until I can afford one. With my own, I can make copies anytime of day. I don’t know if there is a small one. You can be sure of this. I will ask and check it out. If not, then I’ll go to Staples to do my copying. You might say I’m independent. I am as much as possible with what I have and can do.

You might also say I’m getting excited in all that I aim to do. I am, but I don’t expect anybody to be excited with me. I learned that long time ago. But that won’t stop me. I aim to do what I’m setting out to do what’s on my mind. I’m just as determined with that as I was and am with the chemo. In fact! I may not wait until spring to start my goal. I just may start sooner. It’ll be like a school of writing.  Only I won’t have tests to study for. So why wait? I may start this week - weather permitting like Wednesday the thirty-first^tof January ’07. Also! There won’t be any expense of books either. How about that?

                                                

CHAPTER  16

                                             

GOAL PURSUED

It was a fairly good day. We went for lunch. Then Dad dropped me off at Staples on his way to play cards. I think I may have six or seven books by tomorrow. I have them all in sets of book fashion. I finished putting them together by nine tonight, I’m expecting to hand them out to friends - weather permitting tomorrow night.

I went to the library after I was done at Staples. I had to get a little help in finding these books I was looking for. Now maybe I think I’ll remember where to find the others the next time I’m there. After I finished more of my sets for my books, got ready for bed, I started on my research of Louisa May Alcott. I learned a little bit more about her and her life.

She took a liking to books even way back when she was little. When playing with books in the family room, her interest was captured by way of writing. In later years she wrote books.  She was in magazines and newspapers. With her writing, she managed to keep her family from starvation. Her father was not one who worked for a living. Then there was Harriet Tubman who was an escaped slave until in her twenties. She ran away for freedom then came back to bring her family and others out of slavery into freedom. I have eight more American Pioneer Women to write about as well as other people, items and even places I want to zero in on. Right now though, I’ve come to a standstill until I get a few other books from the library.                             

I just happened to think of something! I was looking for one book in my collection of books and I found one on flags. I think I will work on that subject this afternoon.        

                                

                                             

CHAPTER  17

                                 

PONDERING THOUGHTS

My brain is really working tonight - jumping from one thing to another. I went for my big blood work. That refers to my red and white count, platelets and cancer count and whatever else that has to do with my cancer count. I haven’t been worrying - just wondering where they all are at. I’ll just have to wait until I see Dr. Musa the nineteenth of Feb

           

Today I went to see Dr. El-Saan. I gave him a book. I promised him a copy when he gave me permission to use his name in my story. I’m glad I could keep that promise to give that to him and to Dr. Musa. They both seemed pleased to get a copy.

           

I hope and aim to continue to write. I have a lot of writing in store for me to do.  Nice part of it is I have all the time I need [Lord willing] and no dead lines. I just need to remind myself of that when I’m inclined to put myself on schedule. Another good thing is that once I’ve written it and have the way I want it, I can go to Staples to get my copies made.

           

As I said before, I had an appointment with Dr. El-Saan. He went over his paper work, ran a scan over both kidneys. The right one was fine - thank goodness! He did tell me my stent needs to be changed. I’m having that done on March the fourteenth. When the nurse gets it all finalized, she’ll send it to me in the mail. In the meantime, Dad took me  over to get my drink at the hospital. I have to drink the whole bottle an hour before I have the CAT scan Thursday morning.

I hope Dr. Musa gets the report of the CAT scan and the blood work before I see him. I also hope I get all the details of the surgery in regard to the stent before I see Dr. Musa. Maybe he’ll get the scoop from Dr. El-Saan before I see him. For now it is the wait and seeing game so to speak. I’ll just keep busier to make time go fast until I find out what I’m to know. Today was the sixth. It is 10:00 pm. I just felt like writing some more on this book. Now I will read until I’m ready to fall asleep.  

[Editor's Note: If memory serves me well, this would be about the first time that the word "anymore," as a sense of personal limitation, makes an appearance in Jeanette's books. I mention that because we all observed and tried to know how to respond in the latter days of Jeanette's illness when more and more things passed into the realm of "anymore." No more solid foods - anymore; no more walking without help "anymore." It was a learning experience for us, and Jeanette was a good teacher.]

                                           

CHAPTER  18

                                        

THIS AND THAT

I came to conclusions with a few things. One thing is when I have six sets of copies in my bag. It doesn’t do any good to add three library books to the load. They make the bag heavier and not helping my back at all. So no library books with five or six sets in my  bag anymore.

I tripped in my bedroom one day while changing my bed. How? I really don’t know for sure. It might’ve been the corner of bedspread as I was putting that back on my bed. I fell k-splat, going front wards. My back didn’t hurt then as usual but is beginning to hurt at times now.

I went for my CAT scan this morning. The veins in my arm weren’t cooperating too well. They had to try three times before they got the IV in to put the medicine in. I told them to go ahead. I knew they had to do what they had to do. In the meantime, when I was drinking this big bottle of grape stuff, I was reading the label on it. Believe it or not, I just noticed [yes - after all these times] the possibilities of side effects. They were vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness, etc. I was to drink two big glasses of water to wash this stuff out of my system. I was busy in the bathroom But, I was glad it was that and not the vomiting. Or I would’ve had to have gone to the hospital to the Emergency Room to get my cortef back into me.

I got the paper work in the mail today from Dr.  El-Sann’s office. My appointment is all spread out through the month of March. That is with the P.A. of medical history, pre-testing, surgery and appointment with Dr. El-Saan.

I wonder what Dr. Musa has to tell me. I’ll have little news for him as well. I was going to work on putting some books together when I came home from Dad’s at eight. When I got home, I felt done in so decided to get ready for bed. So instead of the books, I decided to write. The books will wait until I get to them.

I need to make a few valentine cards for two friends.. We’re planning to get together tomorrow night – weather permitting. We have a birthday to celebrate. I decided to give them their valentine cards early.

Book Two - Determination on Life's Road: 19-21

CHAPTER  19

                                                   

BEING  MYSELF

I said many times before this. I don’t care about high fluting careers. I probably shouldn’t say it that way. I’m glad for people that have them. Without them, we wouldn’t have doctors, nurses, etc. We need them. I’m just saying it wasn’t for me but to be where I am. Once I accepted that, I could move on to things I can do. Getting back to where I started, I don’t think Pastor was aware of it then. But he confirmed my thoughts when he said to be myself.  That is, to not try to do or be what I’m not cut out for. I don’t intend to be a professional author/writer. I had my first book made. Since then I’ve been working on my second book. I got to thinking! I will have lull/slow time in coming up with what to write in my second book. I asked myself what I was going to do. I started writing about famous/well known people, documents, speeches from four great well known men and women.

           

In the meantime, while talking to my sister, Dottie, she gave me an idea of writing stories from scratch. Guess what! With a little thinking and time, I did write five or six short stories for little kids. Then today on Saturday-February the 10^th, I got to thinking of writing another story from scratch. I sat there and pondered what I could write about next.

I decided to do a story on a teen age girl going through about the same thing I did with cancer. This is when it is good to go through that. I knew what to write. I have thought of changing the story to make it longer. Then I asked myself –why? Why not just write short stories? Be myself and write books of short stories. I let family and friends make a suggestion of how to improve in doing them. Going to a professional and I just may have  to write what they tell me. That wouldn’t be myself and it wouldn’t be really myself writing them.

These stories would be done through the heart. I can be myself. It won’t be as costly as  it would be if I went to a professional person. I won’t have any dead lines either in doing them. If there is, it’s because I made them. But there won’t be if I can help it.

                                            

CHAPTER  20

                                        

UNBELIEVABLE

I did do short stories. I did at least seven or eight short stories for little kids. I did two for adults. Deidra my friend brought a typewriter to me. She wasn’t using it anymore. She didn’t want it so she actually gave it to me.

Another friend came today to pick up her book I had for her. She was a lifesaver. She fixed the ribbon on the typewriter. It is a electric typewriter. I worked on it after I came back from Dad’s at eight. It worked for awhile then the keys locked up on me. I couldn’t make them work so decided to wait until tomorrow.

In the meantime, this afternoon I for some reason thought I did a second set on a story for adults. I goofed big time and tore up one whole story and four pages on another one. Somehow I got one whole story written and the first four pages on the other. I was lucky to get them done. Then I was able to continue on with the other three stories..

CHAPTER  21

                                

LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING

I had an appointment with Dr. Musa this morning. First thing as always, he said good morning. Then he told me he took the time to read my book. In the office, he told me my cancer count was up but nothing showed up on the CAT scan. I had questions and was slow in putting them together to understand. I always had trusted his judgment before, no reason to stop now.

Barb and I talked about other things coming back from Syracuse. When we got back to my apartment, I showed her the stories and pictures I have done for the little kids. I think I might need to do the pictures over again.

My brother Bob gave / loaned me his typewriter this morning. He brought it over when he came to pick me up to go to Syracuse. After leaving Dad’s apartment and seeing Barb off, I came home to get a quick lunch then went to my typewriter. I started on the first story I wrote. I did that one I think four or five times. I think I’ll need to do it over again tomorrow before I start on another one.

I just finished my fourth story for the older ones and adults to read. I also wrote more on my book second book.  I’ll have lot of typing to do. I have learned I can’t type fast without making mistakes. Why do I need to type fast anyway? I’m really typing for myself.

You know what? I’ve been thinking tonight off and on. I was concerned, puzzled and had lot of questions in mind yesterday.  I just didn’t know how to go about it. The more I thought about it, more I was confident. Dr. Musa will keep tabs on me. He will keep track of my blood work and CAT scans.  I’ll continue to trust his judgments.   I also know the Lord is in control. He’s watching over me.  So with Dr. Musa and the Lord, what else can I ask for?

With getting to know my typewriter more today, I’m coming up with solutions. I managed to type up five of my short stories. That’s more than I figured on. I think I still will have Phil type up this second book . It needs to be done more professionally. I’m sure he can do better than me. That’s unless he’s bogged down more than before. If that’s the case, I’ll just have him take a look at it to get his opinion.

Book Two Determination on Life's Road: 22-24

CHAPTER 22

NOTABLE NOTICES

I finally made it to church tonight. There have been a few weeks that I didn’t make it. From what I understand, we need to be careful how to use the word “use.” We should actually say - reflect Christ in our lives. I went to P&C at Riverside Plaza Friday forenoon. I had bought lot of good books there to read. Most every time I went there, I’d buy one. In fact! I even bought some I considered inspiring. I didn’t see any books there that Friday. Of course I may have looked in the wrong section. P&C has a habit of moving / changing things around. Anyway, I was glad I have bought what books I did get there.

I’m getting used to the typewriter. I’m not making nearly as many mistakes as before. I try not to work at the typewriter to often. Sometimes though when I’m almost at the end of what I’m working at, I have the tendency to stay with it until I’m done.

Talking about mistakes, I’m glad what mistakes I have made weren’t crucial or serious. It was just little things in life like with a job I picked, typing, in what I do like my stories and crafts. Sometimes I get frustrated with what I’m working with when it’s not going well. After the umpteenth time of working with it then I walk away from it.

                                          

CHAPTER  23

FINDING DISCOVERIES

As I said before, I was getting used to the typewriter. In fact! I had done 16 chapters on my book #2. I had to remind myself  that I’m not scheduled to get it done by a certain time. Thank goodness for that. I would never last if that was the case. I still make enough mistakes on the typewriter.

Since then I have bought a copier. I said I wouldn’t get one if I couldn’t afford one. We went to Staples yesterday. I went in mind to get one thing and changed direction. I decided to check out the copiers. I happened to find one I could afford. I didn’t need a printer besides that because the copier included a printer and scanner. The cartridges didn’t cost as much as I thought either. So I bought the copier and the ink cartridges..

Two friends of mine and I worked on it when we came back from eating out. So today after I took care of few things, I started making copies of my book #1. I was doing fine for few hours. Then I ran into a snag. It showed me I needed to change the ink cartridge. So I was about to put the new one in. the cartridge holder had gone to one side. [I didn’t know that’s what it would do when I was copying]. After calling Staples  and not getting anywhere, some how I managed to take care of  the problem and resumed my copying.

Then I started to feed the copies through. This time the feeder wasn’t working/ cooperating with me so I decided to do one copy at a time. That worked better for me. I reminded myself to what was easier for me. After that, I worked all afternoon. I finally finished my 4 books along with a master copy. Of the short stories for the little kids. Hurray! Now I can finish my short stories for adults.

I started typing on these stories. I was typing on my 3^rd page. Then all of the sudden, I noticed my correction tape was not far from the end. I can’t do anything until after I have my surgery for the stent Wednesday. I won’t be able to get  another one until next week. I hope that’s the problem  or the typewriter ribbon.. I’ll know when I call Mullen’s tomorrow.  In the meantime, I can get my cards ready for Wednesday.

                                                          

CHAPTER  24

ALL IN GOOD TIME

Back in year of ’69, when I worked at the Murray Center, a co-worker had me set up for a typing class. I already had a manual typewriter. What a difference between a manual and electric typewriter. I used my typewriter a lot for a long time. Then for some dumb reason I got rid of it. I didn’t think I would be using it anymore. I wish now I kept it. I didn’t have any trouble when using it.

Now I’m using an electric typewriter. I’ve been chasing tapes and ribbons, working to keep it working. It’s not for me. And I’m getting frustrated with it. Like I said about the copier, you can be sure about the computer. I finally gave in to the idea that I needed a computer to do my stories. I’m sure not getting anywhere with the typewriter. I want just a basic computer to do my stories and maybe even labels. I also have friends who will set it up for me and get me started. You can be sure I will check out all the angles until I get one.      

I haven’t told about my experience with computers. First time was when I was working in the Cortland Line Fish Store. That was managed by the Murray Center. My boss had a computer. He had me working on it, finding what he wanted in regard to fish and all that goes with it. Believe it or not, I could do it! I enjoyed doing it and my boss was easy to work for. .

Then back in 1991 after I had my third GED. TEST, my teacher had his assistant show me how to work on a computer. After he showed me what to do then he left. I did a short story on Paul the Apostle. Then I went to ask if I push this and that key to get a print out.. I was told yes. I did but then lost it at first then pushed more keys until I got the story back then printed it out. I got excited knowing I did it. I wish I had kept the story.

So now with those experiences I had with the computer, I’m excited to get one of my own to use anytime and learn at the same time. Time will tell when and if I get one. I hope too soon.

Guess what! I did get a computer. We have a computer specialist who goes to our church [Editor note: that would be Kevin Harding]. I called him this one Monday morning. I told him what I wanted and what I wanted to use it for. He said he could get what I needed from our academy and bring it over that same afternoon. He did. He came over at 4:00 that day and got my computer and the mouse hooked up to the tower He had to wait until Saturday to get it hooked up to the printer. He couldn’t that day as he had to get his daughter to her game. When he did come Saturday, he discovered my copier wasn’t compatible so he gave me his printer he wasn’t using. None of this cost me anything. These donated computers and all that goes with them are from people who have upgraded theirs with new ones.

           

The next night a friend came over and worked with me for three hours to get me started on my computer. Having no book with it, I took a notebook and made it my computer notebook. Any and everything someone showed me, I’d write it down. Would you believe this? I got a story saved and printed out. I’ve had some rough moments with it. There were times when I wondered about myself but I didn’t quit. It’s going easier now. When this fellow came to hook the printer to my computer, I had him print my story out. After that, I’ve done lots of stories and had them printed out.             

I found out today that my younger brother is sending me a typewriter by Jerry. So now when my computer goes to sleep or the printer doesn’t print what I want, I’ll have the typewriter as a back up. In fact! I think I will give the computer and the printer a break.

Today  the 14^th of March, I found out that my left kidney isn’t improving.  For now though, I’ll have my stent changed every three months as usual. That is unless Dr. Musa decides differently. Dr. El-Saan is sending him a letter. I sometimes wonder where my cancer count is. I hope it is going down.

In the meantime, I’m keeping busy with my computer. I managed to get some more stories printed. Some stories were done over again. Tomorrow I’ll need to do two more books of my first book done before Saturday. Barb is taking them to her two kids. I just hope there’s good news for both Dr. Musa and I both. I believe he could use some good news as often as possible.

I can be thankful for one thing. That’s in regard to my back. I fell twice, once from climbing and hurrying. This time I didn’t need to go to the doctor either time. I was just feeling the effects for some time.

I think I finally am getting somewhere with my computer. I also discovered it has a mind of its own, but so do I! So when it decides to quit on me, I’ll just fall back on the typewriter to do my work. I’ll just have to remember the computer and the printer had their dog days.